We need to talk. Four words no one likes to hear, but we’re going to talk anyway. Whether you are running your own business or managing people you will eventually find yourself in a position where you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone. It might be time to give reviews, you find you need to let someone go, or someone has let you down. For many of us these can be uncomfortable but to run the best business you can these conversations are crucial. I’ve got good news for you - these conversations get easier over time and to help you shorten that learning curve I’ve outlined some things to consider before your next difficult conversation..
There are 2 main reasons people procrastinate or all-out avoid having these conversations:
They are worried about what people will think of them
They are worried about hurting the other person’s feelings
Those are valid reasons, but let’s talk about the consequences of putting a hard conversation off. We’ll use the example of needing to address the problematic behavior of an employee. An employee has been less than professional with a customer and you have received a complaint. The customer is upset but wants to give your business another chance. You could say to yourself “it’s only one complaint” and avoid the issue altogether. That would be easier than having that hard conversation, but who’s to say they aren’t the only upset customer? Maybe other customers didn’t want to waste their time to let you know and decided they would prefer to take their business elsewhere. According to a survey conducted by ReviewTrackers consumers are 21% more likely to leave a bad review than a good one. So instead of telling you about the problem so you can fix it, many customers would rather make their complaints publicly. Ouch.
Choosing to avoid this tough talk with the employee may lead to the employee continuing this behavior leading to more upset customers. At this point you are likely frustrated and probably won’t deliver the most productive feedback. This could lead to tension with the employee because they may not even realize they were performing poorly. It’s much harder to address at this stage.
Let’s look at the other scenario, you have decided it’s best to address this concern early before any more customers are impacted. This is going to save you some stress! Now let’s talk about to do this effectively.
Preparation is key and here are some important questions to help you prepare:
Who is the conversation with?
Why do you need to have it?
Why is it hard to have?
What do you want to fix?
An excellent tool to help keep you on track when it’s time to have this conversation is to use these questions to write out your talking points. Here’s an example:
I’m coaching Sally because I received feedback from a customer that she was disrespectful.
This is a tough conversation to have because normally Sally does very good work.
I want to make sure Sally understands her role and has the tools she needs to do it well..
Taking time to plan the will help you consider all the factors of the situation and lead to a more productive conversation.
Something else to consider before having this conversation is possible responses the employee might have. Based on what you know about the employee is this a pattern of behavior or is it possible something else is going on with them? Ask before diving into your feedback. Have you set them up for success by properly training them and making sure they have what they need to do a good job? Sometimes we forget how much we ask employees to take on and when they always say yes we just assume they know what they are doing. If you haven’t set your employee up for success it’s important to acknowledge this in your conversation and explain that this conversation is to help correct that. These questions will help you approach the conversation with professionalism and empathy. In general, when an employee needs to be coached it’s very likely they were not intentionally acting maliciously and will want to know how they can improve.
Circling back to the 2 main reasons we would prefer to avoid these conversations, when you use these tips to approach difficult conversations you won’t need to worry about what others think of you. Any mature professional will respect that you are acting in their best interest as much as the company’s. A quality employee won’t be left with hurt feelings either because you used professionalism and empathy to help them grow. It will still be uncomfortable the first few times you have these tough conversations but I promise when you approach the situation with positive intentions it will get easier over time.